For Records Sake

About a month ago, Jack's friend Andrew had his 4th birthday. While I was helping Jen (Andrew's mom) with last minute party details, I sent Jack home with Zack to get dressed for the pirate themed party. I bought Jack a little hat, sword and eye patch.

I just about peed my pants when this little guy walked through the door...

Let it be known that Zack takes his costume responsibilities very seriously!

**too bad they used my good eye liner which all but refused to come off at bedtime!

Rock and Roll

I think someone must have slipped my kid something because he is acting as if his fast forward button is stuck on on this evening. Instead of sleeping, he is singing in bed at the top of his lungs,

"I love Rock and Roll, da da da da in the juke box baby, I love Rock and Roll - YEAH"

...over and over again...

I hope all the neighbors enjoy the serenade as much as we do.

Jack's Home

When I was little (okay, so maybe now too) I used to spill everything. Seriously, I don't know why, I just know that whenever I came within a 3 foot radius of a beverage, I somehow managed to knock it over. Each time I did, my dad would patiently walk over, clean up the spill and say joyfully, "Ana's home!" I don't remember any time when his answer was anything other then gentle and grateful that I was around to spill something.

This has always been a sweet memory, but it wasn't until recently that I gained a new understanding and respect for the patience he showed in the face of my clumsy messiness. It wasn't until recently, when I have caught myself quick to irritation at my own child's clumsy messiness that I realize what a gift my father gave me. I see it in Jack's sad eyes when he catches the frustration in my tone or in my face. I see it and I catch myself. I take a deep breath and instead tell my child how we share this talent for spillage. I share with him my own memories of his Deda when I was a child. And, quickly I am reminded how grateful I am to have a little boy around me spilling things, and instead I say, "Jack's home!"

Halloween

Jack and I returned from San Diego the night before Halloween. The timing actually worked out surprisingly well, because Jack was able to remain sane despite the fact that he was up late on Halloween and full of sugar. We went to the HBS Halloween party and then took the T over to Beacon Hill to trick or treat. It was quite an experience, as all the residents decorate their entryways and sit out on their stairs handing out candy to the millions of kids who come by. Jack's basket was filled to the top and even though it was so heavy that he needed both arms to carry it, he refused to accept anyone's help. Zack's costume was a hit. It traveled with us to Boston and has lived under our bed for the last year since Zack was one day late in finishing it for last year. I think he must have been stopped and asked if people could take pictures with him at least a dozen times. Next year he promised that his costume would be more child friendly and less cumbersome since he was essentially unable to help with anything other then moving his costume around.

All in all, we had a great Halloween and can't wait for next year!!

**sorry for the lame picture. We forgot our camera, so this one shot had to be paid for in Hershey bars right before Jack crashed for the night.

Flashback

I had a flashback moment this evening while Zack and I were putting Jack to bed. Jack was not cooperating, so it being November, we felt licensed to start pulling out the, "we're going to call Santa" threats. Jack quieted down and then asked Zack what Santa's number was. Before he could get past the first 5, I gently reminded him that Santa's number is only for moms and dads. (Otherwise I know Jack well enough to know that he would be dialing the number to plead his case directly with Santa tomorrow morning).

Jack said, "But someday I'll be a dad with my own kids, and I need to know the number now so I can call Santa for them otherwise they won't get their presents." Perfect logic my child has. I used the same logic at six. I was in the post office with my mom and threw the world's largest tantrum telling her how sorry she would be if she didn't tell me the truth about Santa because I wouldn't get my kids any presents and they'd wake up with nothing from Santa. For some reason, I needed to know right then the truth. I spent the next year or so holding it over my sister's head and whispering to my friends, also in the know, not to speak of it in front of Dani. Dani said I was so obvious about it that of course she knew too.

One thing is for sure, with Zack as his father, Jack's kids might actually be in danger of not getting presents one Christmas morning! :) But at least for now, Zack and I will be the only one's making calls to Santa.

Madeleine has stolen my heart

Jack may have fallen in love with Emily, but Maddie has stolen my heart. Words do not do justice to how tied to my sister's daughter I feel. I always knew how much Jack was a part of Dani, but until meeting Maddie, I never could have understood the extent of it. Over the course of our 10 day love affair, Dani would periodically find me holding Maddie and crying. These were moments when she would look straight up into my eyes, and I knew she knew me, knew that I was part of her mother, and that her mother was part of me. Dani told me that her first night home from the hospital she woke up calling out for me. I love that. I love it because sometimes my sister is quiet and reflective, but this story cuts through all that, right to the truth of the depth of our bond.

We realized on this trip that genetically Jack and Maddie are half siblings. If you ask who Maddie looks most like, Sean or Dani, they will most often reply, "she looks like Jack." Jack was really sweet with Maddie (99% of the time) and loved to brush her hair, try to tickle her, hold her and just lie on the floor watching her. He watched for her on the monitor and whenever he saw she was waking up, he wanted to be the first one up to say hi and help get her.



I am slightly embarrassed to admit that I wondered how it would feel to share the role of being a mom with my sister. It has been my personal space in our family for the last four years and now, would never again be. But the truth is, I am overjoyed. I am so excited that after going through so many huge things in our lives together, at the same time, we now get to be moms together. I can think of few things as wonderful, and even fewer as meaningful as watching my sister be a mom. She is a beautiful, calm and graceful mother. It makes me wonder if I had to be as insane as I was during Jack's first weeks of life, but that is another story.

Emily

On our way to the airport to fly home to Boston Jack piped up from the back seat after being quiet for a few minutes.

"Mom, I think I'm falling in love with Emily" he said.

I called Jen (Emily's mom) to notify her of his feelings, because I knew she'd get a kick out of it. She told Emily and then Emily came back to her a few minutes later and said,

"Mom, I think I'm falling in love with Jack too"

Too much cuteness - I just can't stand it.



**this picture was taken right before we moved to Boston