Jack may have fallen in love with Emily, but Maddie has stolen my heart. Words do not do justice to how tied to my sister's daughter I feel. I always knew how much Jack was a part of Dani, but until meeting Maddie, I never could have understood the extent of it. Over the course of our 10 day love affair, Dani would periodically find me holding Maddie and crying. These were moments when she would look straight up into my eyes, and I knew she knew me, knew that I was part of her mother, and that her mother was part of me. Dani told me that her first night home from the hospital she woke up calling out for me. I love that. I love it because sometimes my sister is quiet and reflective, but this story cuts through all that, right to the truth of the depth of our bond.
We realized on this trip that genetically Jack and Maddie are half siblings. If you ask who Maddie looks most like, Sean or Dani, they will most often reply, "she looks like Jack." Jack was really sweet with Maddie (99% of the time) and loved to brush her hair, try to tickle her, hold her and just lie on the floor watching her. He watched for her on the monitor and whenever he saw she was waking up, he wanted to be the first one up to say hi and help get her.
I am slightly embarrassed to admit that I wondered how it would feel to share the role of being a mom with my sister. It has been my personal space in our family for the last four years and now, would never again be. But the truth is, I am overjoyed. I am so excited that after going through so many huge things in our lives together, at the same time, we now get to be moms together. I can think of few things as wonderful, and even fewer as meaningful as watching my sister be a mom. She is a beautiful, calm and graceful mother. It makes me wonder if I had to be as insane as I was during Jack's first weeks of life, but that is another story.
4 comments:
Oh Ana, this post totally made me cry. And the pictures did too. Yay for sisters, yay for nieces, yay for aunties and cousins. You are so blessed. :)
It took me a minute to figure out who was who in that first picture ...
Maddie looks so much like what I remember Jack looking like as an infant (though I never actually met him as an infant). And all that hair! Again! It must be from your side of the genes.
Congrats to Dani. She and Maddie are beautiful.
I am so happy to see these pictures of sweet Maddie and Jack and their moms. Welcome to the world Maddie - and all the love in it for you!
Congrats to Dani AND to Ana. I admire you so much for being able to say things like being scared at how it would feel to share being a mom with Dani. Everyone has those feelings, and only those of us that are brave enough to admit them can move past them. You are both so beautiful...and so are Maddie and Jack!
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