A Silver lining in Hicksville, USA?

Today Zack came back for lunch and Baby J and I got a much needed break from the inside of our hotel room. The good news is we upgraded to a much nicer hotel (for only $5 more) and it's about a half mile from Walmart, Target (my nemesis, but none the less a sign of the civilized world) and TONS of restaurants. I had already eaten my infamous power bar but Baby J and I accompanied Zack to Panera Bread to watch him eat and sip on a diet coke (me, not Baby J :) ). Can I just tell you that this place almost made me think twice about my plan to start a petition to have this city expelled from the US? They have AMAZING bread there. It immediately transported me back to being 8 years old at my grandparents house eating Salami and butter sandwiches (yes folks, you read correctly -- on a side note, does this help anyone understand my constant battle with weight?) on the BEST bread. My Grandfather was a stickler for good bread. He would go out most mornings and get a new fresh loaf. It's not something that I think of all that often, but after just one bite, I had a new found respect for my grandparents quest and appreciation of good bread. Could it be that I had underestimated Hicksville and all its goodness? Alas, I'm sorry to say that Panera Bread is a chain and can be found less then 10 minutes from my own home in the Almighty State of California. But maybe Hicksville deserves a little bit of credit for turning me on to this place, maybe I can look beyond the local drivers driving with one leg out the window. Ok, good bread is great and all, but it's not magic people.

Isn't all this enough?

Over the last few days I have had several very important people in my life tell me I need to do more for myself. And you know what? I can't think of anything I would rather be doing then being a mom. When I was a child, I never really talked about wanting to be a mom. It's not like I threw baby dolls on the floor and refused to play with them, but I had other grand ideas about what my future would hold. I was going to be the first woman President, and as I grew up and that dream seemed a little less practical I was going to be a lawyer so I could tell everyone off and argue for a living. I was going to live in the big blue house we passed on the way to school everyday and I was going to pay people to work for me so I didn't have to (the logic of a 5th grader- Gotta love it). But then I married the love of my life, and he supported me and told me I could be anything I wanted to be. Funny thing was, all of the sudden, all I wanted to be was a mom. It took us nearly 2 years from deciding we were ready to the day Baby J blessed our happy home and during those two years, all I did was things for myself. I went where I wanted, did what I wanted, ate what and when I wanted. And I knew I was missing out. So yes, I don't get to see the newest movies the night they come out, or make it through a day without spit up, drool or/and snot on my shirt, And Yes I do eat powerbars for lunch because I can down it in 2 minutes flat, but you know what? There is not a blessed thing I would rather be doing with my "Me- time". Baby J is the best of both Zack and me. He learns more each and everyday, and when I see his latest tricks, I know I helped him learn them. When he smiles one of his cute ham smiles, I know he smiles that particular smile only for his mom. And you know what? That's me.

One more bone to pick before bed

So I went to see "someone" the other day. And to tell you the truth, its someone I struggle with. We just don't seem to really click you know? So I told her that we were going to take Baby J on a trip today and I was worried because it's impossible to predict what a 5 month old is going to do, and do you know what she did? She started telling me how rude it is when babies cry and irritate people on the plane! She continued to relate stories of being happy seeing struggling mother's being told off by other passengers. NOW HEAR THIS! I too get irritated when kids seem to be running wild and parents are just la de da about it, but if the parents are visibly trying to tend to their little ones, then SUCK IT UP WORLD! That mother is trying her best. Why do we insist on tearing her down and validating her fears that everyone hates her and her child at that moment?

PS. If I want to pay money to take my child first class, nobody better give me any grief and tell me to go back to coach. Not unless they wan't to incur the wrath of a momma bear protecting her young.

Does this seem glamorous to you?

Someone mentioned to me the other night that my life was so exciting because we seem to always be going somewhere. Do long plane rides with a 4 month old cutting teeth, and being puked on while standing in the airplane aisle really seem that glamorous to anyone else?

Hicksville, USA

It's Wednesday evening and Baby Jack and I have decided to accompany Zack to Virginia. A few days ago it seemed the best idea (the alternative being to stay home and brave single parenthood on my own for the week). However, two plane rides, one 2 hour drive, a hotel? in Hicksville, USA, a fully fried meal at Dennys (the only restaurant open) later and I am wondering why this seemed like such a fun idea a few days ago! I guess the truth is, if we weren't here I would be lonely at home and tired from getting up four times a night with Mr. J and his blasted teeth that refused to just cut through already.

Hopefully in the light of day tomorrow this will all make more sense.

Zack commented that he never realized how snobby I can be when it comes to hotels. This from the man who took me to Bora Bora and we ended up leaving the hotel in the middle of the night (if you can even call it a hotel) and checking into the ritzy-ist hotel on the island, for those interested, The Hotel Bora Bora, very plush. I mean I don't wear designer clothes, or have a big fancy house or car, but I don't like staying in crap hotels. Call me a snob. Go ahead. I will gladly embrace my snobbiness on this one.

On the plus side, I was super excited to drive through DC. I hope we will have time Friday evening to go and hit a few sites before going home Saturday. Zack suggested Baby Jack and I take on DC on our own tomorrow. Once again, has he been paying attention to me at all over the last 10 years? :)

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