Last week we went home. I am sad to report that although we spent most of our trip sleeping in my sister's living room, it felt like we were home. I was really worried about how much the trip might confuse Jack (since heaven knows I was confused) but he was a champ. He was so excited to be back and see all of the old sites, but he acknowledged they were old. He kept pointing out, most of the time thoroughly amused, that "Hey Mom, this is our old street!" or "Hey Mom, this is our old Target!". When we drove by our old apartment he chuckled to himself and told me someone else probably moved all of their stuff into a big truck and unloaded it into our old home. He thought it was a really amusing idea.
As soon as we stepped off the plane, Dani gathered us up and we headed straight down to Gilroy Gardens. Jack was so excited. As I have mentioned before, he has spent the last few weeks looking over the map we still have from our last trip to Gilroy Gardens telling me all the rides he is going to go on when we go with Adda. Here are a few pictures from the day...
As we were leaving Gilroy Gardens Jack gave me a hug and said, "Mom, this has been the best day ever!!" Words don't do justice to how much I love that kid.
The next day was Sunday, and we got ready for 9 am church (LOVE IT!!!!). Jack was super excited to go to our old church and his old nursery. He literally ran up the steps, opened the door, and ran into the chapel before I had even locked the car door. We were so happy to see all of our old friends. I spent most of the first meeting reading and playing with Zoe, while Maryanne and Jack played with stickers together. By the end of the meeting, both Jack and Zoe were lying under the pew playing cars side by side. It was seriously the cutest thing and made me so happy to see that they were picking up right where they left off. After the meeting, Jack ran to nursery where he stayed all by himself and I got a glowing report from his teacher after about how he sang all the songs during music time, and that he paid attention during lesson time and even answered their questions! (Way to go Jack!) It was such a nice break from the tackling, crying mess our current nursery experience is. I spent the second hour holding Audrey (who is so sweet it makes the pain of not being pregnant easier to bear) and talking with Maryanne and Becky. Man I miss having friends. The third hour I stopped by to say hi to all my old YW and then got my hands on Miss Maggie, who although she screamed bloody murder for Becky who was teaching, still filled my baby holding quota for the day. That evening, Jack and I were invited to Maryanne and Bruce's for dinner. I think that night was one of my favorite memories. Just sitting on the floor in Zoe's room, talking to Maryanne and listening to Jack and Zoe play and have fun. It really is the simple things in life.
Monday brought Zoe's Halloween party, and although we didn't have time to dye Jack's tights orange, we had a blast hanging out and celebrating Halloween with Maryanne, Zoe, Becky, Ben and the babies.
Tuesday reunited us with Zack, who we were both overjoyed to see! Wednesday we met Maryanne and Zoe at our usual park, with a cinnamon raisin bagel in hand and it felt like life was back to normal. Thursday we met Becky, Stephanie and Maryanne + kids at the farm where the kids chased ducks, played in the dirt, got pumpkins, and played on the playground. As sad as we were to head off to the airport, it was comforting to know that good friends don't disappear, whether you are twenty-eight, or two going on three...
When we got home, I put Jack down in his bedroom, and came downstairs. I must have looked in the same drawer three times for napkins (the drawer that they would have been at at our old apartment) and burst into tears, sobbing that I wanted to go home. Poor Zack was amazing, and when both Jack and I woke up under the weather the next morning he stayed home to try to put us back together again.
Lately I have been wondering why this move has been so hard. I think it's probably obvious to everyone else, but the answer is Dani. I am tearing up right now at how real that truth is. For the last two years I had the love of my life, the child that made me the luckiest mom on earth, and the sister that made me whole all in a two block radius. For Jack, it must not make any sense, having lived his whole life with Dani and Sean down the street, that Mama and Papa moved but we left a huge chunk of our family back in Santa Clara. It just isn't quite home anymore without Dani (and Sean).
**A note to Annee, who is currently my hero. She is tens of thousands of miles from home, living in a foreign country, currently without her husband, raising four fantastic kids, and I complain about not being home at least 99% more then she does. I know I'm a wimp. I've accepted it. :)
1 comment:
As I ask Zoe almost every day, "aren't sisters the most wonderful things in the whole world?". You are so blessed to have such an awesome sister, and she is so incredibly blessed to have you.
Maybe now that you've pinpointed what's making the move so difficult, it will be easier to deal with? (I say, knowing full well that very little makes living away from your heart easier.) But maybe now it won't be the phantom thing that sneaks up and clobbers you with tears?
It was so wonderful to see you guys, and we can't wait to see you again. We explained to Z that you guys moved, and she was very sad, but now asks about 5 times a day where you moved to, and has decided that she very much wants you to move onto our porch. I told her I would let you know. So keep that as an option. :)
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