It's 4am

And this baby is kicking the heck out of me and reminding me he's happy and I should be too despite it being 4 Am and me being awake. I don't remember not being able to sleep in the weeks before Jack was born but man alive it's kinda miserable now. Like I'm lucky to sleep 4 hours a night and then muddle through the rest of my day exhausted.

I've been having piano stress dreams. A few weeks ago we decided to paint our clunker of a piano to help it be not quite so ugly. Why oh why at 38+ weeks did this seem like a good idea? Why oh why did I think either one of us knew enough to paint a piano? And mostly why oh why did I think having a blue piano sounded like a good idea?

I'm convinced this baby won't come until the piano is done so I've been working like mad while jacks at school and then working Zack like mad when jacks asleep. Maybe when it's done I won't have anymore painting and sanding nightmares waking me up at 4am. Maybe then I'll just have sweet little kicks doing it instead.

Yesterday while driving home from a trip to home depot for our silly piano Jack just casually said, hey there's a ball in my brothers car seat. (which finally got installed). It was such a simple statement but I teared up hearing him refer to his brother in such a casual way. Like it's normal for him to has a brother. It reminded me of all the prayers that he has offered asking that our family be sent a baby. So many years of prayers. I am so grateful that I have had so many years to focus on Jack. He is my buddy in so many ways and I know having a brother is going to help him grow in so many ways that I could never teach him.

So baby I am working like a crazy mad woman to finish this piano and then you are welcome any time. We cant wait...